This summer is going to be a long, dry one for many of our readers, so here at ValleyCrest Takes On we’ve devised a way to keep water on your mind even when there’s none on your lawn: The Summer Entertainment Series. Follow along as your favorite bloggers share water-related movies, books, tv and more, that will keep you educated and entertained all summer long.
I know my bio says I’m a “passionate water conservationist” but it should also say I am straight-up terrified of water in any measure larger than a bathtub and most of my nightmares are water-related.
Water is powerful! And heavy! And disorienting! And sound-muffling! It. Is. Scary. Who’s with me?
Movies about water give me panic attacks so I try to avoid them at all costs, but sometimes I get stuck watching them anyway. (Peer pressure!) To help my fellow aquaphobics know which films you need to stay far far away from, here’s my list of 5 movies to avoid like the deep end of the pool:
Shackleton’s Antarctic Adventure Forget The Ring or Saw, this is the scariest movie I have ever seen. It’s a giant-screen film (like IMAX) so it’s about 2 hours and 200 square feet of larger-than-life hurricanes, waves, capsizing canoes, and trekking across a previously unexplored icy continent. Traumatic. Forget 3-D glasses, this movie is so realistic there should be lifeguards stationed in the theater in case people need CPR.
Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken A girl who trains to perform in a horse-and-rider high dive act in Atlantic City has all her dreams come true only to get in a terrible accident during said diving act and lose her sight. Horses, high dives…what’s next?! If someone makes a movie about a character who delivers speeches while being chased by snakes and eventually gets amnesia, it would be right on par with this nightmarish fiasco.
Titanic You knew that was coming, didn’t you? The ship sinks, there’s a lot of swimming in heavy clothing and drowning in the frigid Atlantic, they even go so far as to show footage of the underwater wreckage. This year is the 100th anniversary of the tragedy, so the movie or some documentary is playing every time I turn on the TV. Obviously I am boycotting TV for the rest of 2012.
The River Wild A family white water rafting vacation gets hijacked by some inexperienced rafters who -oh yeah!- just happen to be armed robbers who hold the family hostage and don’t plan to let them get away. I bet there was some warm, fuzzy moral to this story but I’m afraid it went overboard in those Class 5’s. Maybe the family that navigates rapids at gun-point together, stays together? That sounds about right.
Jaws What would a list of scary water movies be without Jaws? To be honest, I’ve never seen it, but people who love the ocean are scared of Jaws so I know better. Something about a giant, unstoppable shark eating everything in its path, right? The tagline for the film is “You’ll never go in the water again!”, which, for most people is a stretch, but if you’re afraid to begin with you don’t need one more excuse to stay on dry land.
I know there are tons more water movies out there that would fuel my nightmares, but luckily I haven’t seen most of them. Would you be a dear and list them in the comments so my fellow water-fearers and I know which films to avoid? Thanks, you’re a lifesaver! You can also share them with me on Twitter at @MarGoH2O.