Sometimes good kids want purple hair. And I’m here to tell you that you should let them have it, for the sake of water conservation. The world needs your teenager to have wild hair!
- Your teenager wants to be an individual.
- Your teenager probably thinks you are suppressing his/her individuality.
- Your teenager most likely stands in the shower until the hot water runs out every day, contemplating how your lameness is going to ruin them. (The key being the hot water runs out.)
Being conservative, I’d say an average teenager showers approximately 20 minutes per day. With a modern low-flow shower head that’s a whopping 50 gallons of hot water, up to 80 gallons with an older shower head. If you can figure out how to measure your frustration in gallons as well, add that to the equation. (Saving water isn’t complicated)
Let’s kill 3 birds with 1 stone here, ok? Hot water is the arch nemesis of hair dye; nothing fades haircolor faster than a nice steaming shower. So I suggest you let your teenager get red streaks, green highlights, blue ombre, or whatever makes them happy. Make them pay for the treatment so they’re really invested in this or it won’t work.
Now, do you know how obnoxious it is trying not to get your hair wet in the shower? It’s awful! If you’re thinking “Haven’t you ever heard of a shower cap?” the answer is (yes, I have, BUT) your kids probably haven’t, so don’t mention it to them. You have so much power.
Here’s the scientific proof that my theory works:
A couple months ago I dyed my blonde hair purple*. Everyone warned me it would fade right away if I washed in hot water but doggone it, I paid for that purple hair and I wanted it to last forever!
Pre-purple hair I showered around 10 minutes per day, using approximately 25 gallons of hot water each time. From day one with purple hair I cut my shower time down to 4 minutes warm, 1 minute cold, cutting my water usage to only 12.5 gallons! I didn’t even do it on purpose; I just didn’t want to mess up my awesome hair and there’s no such thing as a long, chilly shower.
Let’s apply this to your teen, now.
If she gets those sweet pink streaks she’s been begging for:
- She looks totally unique.
- You ARE the coolest parent in town.
- Her shower time drops to 10 minutes, maybe even 5. (Water is Free) You save somewhere from 37.5 to 60 gallons a day. Per teenager. Not to mention all the through-the-door arguments you avoid.
Not too shabby, right?
Give it a try! And if you do, please let me know how it works out. I need more data for my research.
*I know what you’re thinking: crazy colored hair = rebellion, bad grades, working in a tattoo parlor, etc. So I’d like to point out that I have a college degree, a fabulous job and zero tattoos OR piercings. Like I said, sometimes good kids just want purple hair.